Parade | !!! CANCELLED!!! 35th Annual April Fools' Day Parade: Witch Hunt! !!! CANCELLED!!!

New York's irreverent April Fools' Day Parade, poking fun at the past year's displays of outrageous hype, hypocrisy, deceit, bigotry, and downright foolishness, returns. For the 35th year, the public is invited bring outrageous floats and dress up in colorful costumes to reflect the folly of the nuttiest politicians, crooked corporate leaders, silly celebrities and whoever else has proved to be a total fool in the past year. The theme of the parade this year is "WITCH HUNT!"

The parade's Grand Marshall is again President Donald Trump, who this year will be wearing a witch's cape and hat, and will be riding a witch's broom. On his tail will be the "Whistleblowers' Marching Band" playing "Season of the Witch" by Donovan. Dueling color commentary will be provided by Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway, and her husband, Attorney George T. Conway.

Chased by the mob of whistleblowers, Trump will be screaming "Witch Hunt!!!" as he attempts to outrun the crowd. Senator Rand Paul will be in hot pursuit attempting to out the identity of each whistleblower. The public is invited to bring their own whistles and join the stampede.

Following closely behind the witch hunt will be the World-Leaders-Laughing-Behind-His-Back Float. This is followed by the National Archives Exhibition Float of Protest Photographs with all photos censored, edited or redacted. Protesters carrying blank protest signs will follow behind. Then comes the BREXIT Float, frantically attempting to make it to Washington Square Park as it is pulled in opposite directions.

Weaving through the parade will be costumed look-alikes including a topless Vladimir Putin wearing an Emperor's crown, Rudy Giuliani in a clown suit, Attorney General William Barr juggling Giuliani's balls, Senator Mitch McConnell dressed as Lady Justice with her scales tipped to the right, Senator Lindsey Graham as a serpent with a forked tongue, Senator Susan Collinscarrying her head on a pike, Devin Nunes as Pinocchio, and the rest of the Republican Senatedressed as sheep. Alan Dershowitz will pontificate from a mobile podium, Rush Limbaugh will be sporting his unmerited Medal of Freedom. Roger Stone will be flipping the bird to the crowd. There will also be a contingent of Dopes and Babies, five-star generals and other military top brass wearing diapers, dunce hats and signs on their backs saying "Kick Me!" Jeffrey Epstein will be hanging around.

The Fools' Parade satire knows no bounds. The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats. Floats should be no wider than 10 feet and no longer than 30 feet and can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and helium balloons are welcome. If it rains, marchers are encouraged to decorate umbrellas with slogans.